On Visualization

By, Sheri

I bet a lot of you are like me. Visualization = sleep. Pacmen were infantile, sharks and lions too aggressive, peaceful scenes were instant sleep induction. Yet, I felt compelled to keep trying because I had heard that visualization is something I could do to promote my healing.

Finally, I heard the answer in one of my groups at the Cancer Support and Education Center in Menlo Park. Visualization works if there is an emotional connection to what is being visualized. The reason for this was explained as: there are receptors for the neurotransmitters responsible for emotions on immune cells; therefore, there is a biological link between the emotions and the immune system. If the goal is to increase one's own immune response against cancer, something which triggers the chemicals for emotions may boost the immune system (such as a mental image which brings up an emotional response).

Personally, I had no emotional response to Pacmen or other images that didn't mean anything to me. I could get a lot more excited about picturing myself in full health, doing the things I enjoy. Realizing I needed to have an emotional connection for my images was a real breakthrough for me.

We all visualize every day. It is a skill that we use every time we see ourselves in the future. If we are at a restaurant deciding what to order, we may create pictures in our mind of the different dishes and imagine the taste of each. That's visualization! If we are in a clothing store, we might picture where we might go wearing our new clothes if we make the purchase. That's visualization too. Every time we set a goal and see ourselves achieving a goal, that is visualization.

When I was sick, my goal was to be in full health, enjoying everything I used to enjoy, surrounded by my friends and family. I feel strongly that picturing myself in full health contributed to my positive attitude. In fact, visualizing made me feel so good that I started to do it all the time- when waiting in a doctor's office, when relaxing in the Jacuzzi, when riding in the car, even when swimming. Anytime is a good time to boost the immune system!

My balance was impaired following my surgery for a malignant brain tumor. The first time I went to play tennis, I swung my arm back to take a swing and fell over. In my first attempts at waterskiing and snow skiing, two sports which I had done since I was six years old, I fell practically every turn. You can only imagine what happened the first time I attempted to ride a bike. Even though I knew my balance was a problem, one of the first things I did was get a mountain bike and a new pair of snow skis. During my treatments, I pictured myself using my new toys with great joy and ability.

When all I was able to do was walk in a swimming pool, I pictured myself swimming laps. At first, I couldn't even picture myself getting to the other side of the pool without choking or running out of breath. Gradually I began to picture myself swimming to the other side easily and then swimming back and forth several times. I continued adding several laps a day to my visualization during my six weeks of radiation. When I finished my radiation and was given permission to swim, I swam several laps the first day with no trouble. No one could believe it. Perhaps I would have been able to swim without my efforts at visualization, but I would like to take the credit.

Eventually, I was able to achieve the levels which I had attained before I had surgery. I even had the confidence to take up the ultimate balance challenges: backpacking with a heavy pack and windsurfing. I am happy to report that I am writing this essay from a high-wind sailing site off the coast of Venezuela where I have been shreddin' with the best of them.

I also used visualization to see my treatments working. To make my visualizations interesting, I added sounds and smells. Have you ever heard the sound of fajitas sizzling? "Perfect," I thought, for my radiation visualization. Like most people, I was not comfortable with what the aggressive radiation was doing to my normal brain tissue. Because I have always enjoyed the warmth and beauty of a bright, sunny day (in fact, I think I live by photosynthesis!), in my visualization, I pictured the radiation beam turning into healing light and warmth of the sun when it encountered normal tissue.

For chemotherapy, I pictured an innocuous, clear liquid which, when it reached the tumor or encountered free-floating cells, began to bubble, smoke and turn florescent green. It looked like an experiment turned awry from a kiddy chemistry set. Because I wasn't comfortable with all of the leftover debris from this destruction, I combined a cleansing element to my visualization. Water, whether a river flowing, an ocean beach, or a peaceful lake, all connote relaxation and a peaceful feeling to me. At the end of my visualization, I incorporated a cleansing stream, complete with brightly colored tropical fish (only because bright colors, fish, and the tropics make me happy!), combined with imagining a little reggae or steel drum music.

I also used visualization to think "fat veins" before going in for chemotherapy. If I had an opportunity to sit in a Jacuzzi or wrap my arms in hot towels before chemo I would, but if not, I would picture myself doing those things with my veins bulging out. I think this helped because after being stuck about six or eight times during my first chemo treatment, I never was stuck more than once or twice again.

Visualization also helped me immensely with two side effects I have experienced: excessive hiccups (initially up to 20 sets a day) along with foot and leg cramps. Now I simply "tell" my hiccups to go away and picture my throat relaxing. I almost never hiccup more than once. When I get cramps in my feet or legs, I picture them in a hot Jacuzzi or buried under hot sand. Generally, my cramps lessen almost immediately.

Visualization was a significant part of my healing. It was something that I could do by myself, for myself. It was something I believed in. My only side effect from visualization was seeing more and more possibilities and needing to be patient or finding the time to do them all! I would strongly encourage giving creative visualization a try. Custom tailor your visualizations and make them work for you.